A definition of play, and how to live

In games, we choose an objective that has no intrinsic value. Get points, run out of cards, reach the finish line. We take aim, and restricting our actions with rules, because this leads us to actions that we enjoy. Thinking, interacting with other players, running all-out. We play the game because it’s fun. We try to win because that makes it fun. (Some people get happy if they win. But if you don’t enjoy the play, you won’t keep coming back.)

This is play, because the ends don’t have particular value, but the means of getting there give us satisfaction.

We can take this strategy in life too:

Choose the ends that lead you to the means that get you what you need.

I call it a quest, an unreachable star, this aim that we choose not because we expect to get there (that would be a milestone) but because it leads us in useful directions.

The book Obliquity (amazon) explains it well: there are some things we can’t get by aiming for them, such as profit or happiness. So you choose an end (“build the best airplane”) that leads you to means (engineering, research, investment, production quality) that get you what you need in order to keep going (profit). Choose an end (“build up my community”) that leads you to means (forming relationships, organizing, helping people) that get you what you need (joy).

When the end has some intrinsic value of its own, like the airplane, or the community, or operating useful software — then we call it work.

People say “Do what you love.” This is how to do that: find an objective that matters to others, which also leads you to means that bring satisfaction. Some people find hard physical work satisfying, others mental exertion, others human interaction. It doesn’t need to be your favorite activity; fun does not equal joy.

When both the ends and the means are fulfilling, then work and play align.

Each milestone (produce an engine, get someone to like you, code up a feature) has many routes to reach it. If you aim for the quickest route, you might end up messing up your quest (the fastest code is harder to operate) or worse, missing out on what you need (long-term profit is down, the community is poisoned, the work is unsatisfying). How do we restrict our means to the ones that take us toward our quest, not just our milestone? and also give us what we need to keep going?

In games, we use rules. In life, we use values.